It's a smaller version of a church, but you take up residence there instead of only going once or more a day for services. An Abbot also serves as the authority of the abbey and only members of the same gender are allowed to be brought in. Thus, we don't allow members of the opposite gender in as it goes against the rules. Honestly though, I don't recommend you live in one. Until you become of age where you're allowed to leave, you're obligated to isolate yourself from the world.