[He couldn't help the small wince at the word 'abandoned' but it was true.]
It doesn't matter...I doubted a friend not because of anything he did or said but be cause of what he was. For those months...I had become the Black I was supposed to be...I just didn't see it.
[Again, his hand went through his hair, a nervous habit he'd picked up from James that he couldn't help. It provided a momentary distraction.]
There's more...I wish I could say there wasn't...but there is.
When I saw the bodies...I knew what Peter had done. I made sure Harry was safe, and then I started a hunt. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing or why I was doing it, I was so blinded by my rage and pain...I finally found him. He was in the middle of a busy street when I cornered him and, of course, he tried to plead with me and gain sympathy through our friendship, but I was going to kill him and nothing he said would change that. But the bastard- He blew the street up, killed 13 people, transformed into the rat he was, and made it look like he'd died in the explosion as well. When the dust cleared I was the one they found.
I was blamed for the deaths of James, Lily, and Peter...and they sent me to Azkaban for it; that's our jail for the scum in our community. That's why I looked as bad as I did when I arrived...it's not like it's a well-kept place...I'd been there for six months when this place pulled me back. I should have told you sooner...I'm sorry. I just...didn't want you to know that your boyfriend's a jailbird and murderer. That wasn't fair of me.
[He was silent a moment and then he looked up to the ceiling and the crack in his voice made it clear he was trying not to cry.]
You know...I saw him once...Remus. After the whole thing and before they sent me away...he believes I did it. I guess....that's only fair...
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It doesn't matter...I doubted a friend not because of anything he did or said but be cause of what he was. For those months...I had become the Black I was supposed to be...I just didn't see it.
[Again, his hand went through his hair, a nervous habit he'd picked up from James that he couldn't help. It provided a momentary distraction.]
There's more...I wish I could say there wasn't...but there is.
When I saw the bodies...I knew what Peter had done. I made sure Harry was safe, and then I started a hunt. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing or why I was doing it, I was so blinded by my rage and pain...I finally found him. He was in the middle of a busy street when I cornered him and, of course, he tried to plead with me and gain sympathy through our friendship, but I was going to kill him and nothing he said would change that.
But the bastard- He blew the street up, killed 13 people, transformed into the rat he was, and made it look like he'd died in the explosion as well. When the dust cleared I was the one they found.
I was blamed for the deaths of James, Lily, and Peter...and they sent me to Azkaban for it; that's our jail for the scum in our community. That's why I looked as bad as I did when I arrived...it's not like it's a well-kept place...I'd been there for six months when this place pulled me back. I should have told you sooner...I'm sorry. I just...didn't want you to know that your boyfriend's a jailbird and murderer. That wasn't fair of me.
[He was silent a moment and then he looked up to the ceiling and the crack in his voice made it clear he was trying not to cry.]
You know...I saw him once...Remus. After the whole thing and before they sent me away...he believes I did it. I guess....that's only fair...